Lord, Why Don't I Care How You Feel ... What Makes You Happy Print

dontcare
I ask you to secure yourself with a Holy Spirit seat belt as you, the reader, and I have dialogue throughout this blog. Why am I even writing this today, July 2, 2009? My heart is heavy; I’m so very saddened by the choices of a few specific people I deeply care for.

But we all have free choice, right, even as Christians. And along with our free choices, comes the free consequences whether good or bad for each and every choice each of us makes.

I’m sure you identify with my feelings, right? You want the absolute best, which is God’s best, for those you love and they choose repeated choices that lead to bondage, which they call, “but I’m happy.”

I’m left with the following questions and thoughts that have been pounding in my brain like a sledge hammer since 7 am during my daily morning 5.14 mile walk.

Question 1
Lord, I say I love you because that’s the politically-correct Christian thing to say, but I’m really consumed with myself and what makes me happy? You come somewhere down the line Lord; I gotta take care of me – no one else will.

Question 2
Lord, why isn’t the following question a part of my daily, mental grid as a Christian. What decision for my life would please You today Lord that aligns with Your biblical principles?

Question 3
Am I really that selfish Lord that my choices, my actions don’t even take into consideration what’s best for me [according to Your will] or my child/children. Wow Lord – I must really be hurting deeply and even living detached from my family to forsake what’s best for them and I’ve been entrusted to be a steward over them.

Thought 1
I really don’t know how to deal with the quiet, subliminal pain inside, so I gotta do something daily or weekly to distract me from me. I call it – making myself happy. Satan rejoices because he calls it – gotcha.

Thought 2
Why do I keep repeating actions and choices that I know aren’t good for me Lord? Aahh, I did it again. Although I’ve not wanted to call it what it is, I have some percentage of self hatred operating in my life. What else could explain the choices I make and the choices others that I love make that do not lead to the abundant life You promised for me or them?

Lord, Why Don't I Care How You Feel … What Make You Happy

Now, Beloved reader, where did all of this start? Allow me to share a few things that have saddened my heart.

One
A divorced, single parent gets pregnant two more times by the new person they are seeing.
The person is Christian, smart, attractive and educated.
The divorced parent chooses to allow the new person they are dating to move into their home.
The divorced parent has a child in elementary school.
They plan to marry someday.

Two
A single person who was molested as a child has a senior leadership position in a church.
This person has received Holy Spirit healing for this strategy that was planned very early by the demonic for their life.
This single person lives with another single person in their local church who is also in a leadership position.
The head leader of the church remains quiet.

Three
Ty Adams has written a new book that I’ve not read.
From what I understand it addresses the rampant sexual immorality in the body of Christ.
Any person, in this case, Ty Adams, who chooses to state the Lord’s unwavering, uncompromised standards in 2009 loves the Lord and chooses The Truth.

Four
The fact that people are forgetting that Michael Jackson was a human, a son, a father, a friend, a brother, a uncle and a child of the Lord – saddens me. Many throughout the world are mourning and grieving including me. There’s been an utter disrespect to his family that he is loved globally and this time of bereavement is to be respected for any human being. In America, we have a court system and the court found him not guilty. In our democracy, this is where it ends. The establishment of government is biblical, even though there are many shortcomings.

Five
Daily I listen to the media, interact with Christians, listen to Internet radio, read letters from a federal prisoner who writes me, look at Oprah’s talk show sporadically and look at award shows on tv – it’s devastatingly apparent, don’t nobody hardly give a flipping care about – what the Lord thinks, what makes the Lord happy, what pleases the Lord.

Beloved reader, it breaks my heart – need I say more. The witness of every Christian is a combination of our conversation, character and conduct. And to be direct with you here, actions still speak louder than words. Folks, including many Christians, simply don’t give a rat’s patuddy about what the Lord thinks.

Lord, Why Don't I Care How You Feel … What Makes You Happy

Well, let me offer a few answers to the questions and thoughts I’ve posed above. What is the basis on the responses I’m getting ready to share with you?

The principles, covenants, commandments, contingencies, prophecies and the universal law of reaping and sowing in the Bible;
My experience in healing and deliverance; and, my colleagues experience globally in in healing and deliverance.

Those we love in our life hurt deeply.
They hurt so much more than they’ll ever share with you.

Let’s quickly look at one common coping mechanism of Christians. I’ll keep myself surrounded with middle-of-the-road Christians that way I don’t feel so bad about my public and private choices.

A wise Christian once imparted to me, your left hand should be outstretched upwards for those who are where you want to be are pulling you upwards. Your right hand is outstretched downwards, and you are pulling those who desire to be where you are at. There’s a small inner circle of people who should surround you.

Your inner circle are those appointed by the Holy Spirit who actively participate in having their own lives healed and who strategically sow the following in your life -- support, counsel, advocate, a regular lover of the Word of God and they hold you accountable in a loving Christ-like manner.

Many Christians are so weak, they continue to relish in the world’s standards. Why are many Christians weak? Would you consider taking a survey from seven people you know well by the end of this week? Ask how much time they spent daily in the past seven days with the Lord including study, meditation and fasting [fasting is a regular part of the Christian lifestyle].

Quite simply, strength comes from the Holy Spirit and His Word. Making Godly choices comes from having God’s perspective mapped in your heart and mind. There are only four ways I know to achieve this that humans can employ – read, listen, write and recite.

I heard someone pray earlier this year for God to release a person from the consequences of having committed adultery. My spirit quickened and the scripture God is not a respector of people popped in my mind like red neon lights. The ways, character and attributes of the Holy Spirit are like a two-sided coin, a penny for example. On one side there’s love, grace and mercy and on the other side of this same coin is justice, judgment and wrath. It still baffles me why Christians do not equally teach about this other side of God.

The main issue with interacting with God as only having one side is we are then engaging in a game of Russian roulette. Because the Holy Spirit is gracious, doesn’t mean He’s foolish. And the Lord specifically determines for each of us the day and what will be the last time He’ll extend his grace and mercy in a first time or repeated choice we continue to make.

The operating of generational curses are so real and active in Christians lives that many Christians simply don’t identify the daily and weekly manifestations of these generational curses as what they truly are. For example, someone shares they’ve had repeated extra-marital affairs in a casual conversation.

This same person on another day mentions their child had a sleepover and overheard the very young children saying, “I’m going to _uck you to death.” The same person says casually on another week that their mother has had a life of promiscuity. This same person shares in yet another week casually that their cousins engage in bisexual relationships. This same person says, “You know what, I just remember that my grandmother was molested too like I was.”

Beloved reader, I counted four generations of sexual immorality as I listened in the spirit to these casual conversations that took place over a number of weeks. These are not merely choices of each person. There is a BONA FIDE generational curse of sexual immorality rampant in this family line that can easily be broken in less than 30 minutes. I pray that if you see repetition in your life or your family’s life – learn, study, examine and break each generational curse and command the respective demons assigned to EACH CURSE operating in your life to leave.

Lord, Why Don't I Care How You Feel … What Makes you Happy

Why don't I care Lord about how You feel when I continue looking at the person just a little bit longer than I should?

Why don't I care Lord about how You feel when I take my personal issues out on those who report to me?

Why don't I care Lord about how You feel when I secretly deny sexism and racism in my heart although my consistent actions and thoughts reveal this truth?

Why don't I care Lord about how You feel when I envy those in my church who You've blessed more than me; I'm wrongly comparing Lord?

Why don't I care Lord about how You feel when I allow the person I'm not married to to spend the night and I use anything to justify my actions?

Why don't I care Lord about how You feel when I wrongly classify personal expenses as business expenses?

Why don't I care Lord about how You feel when I pretend to celebrate others, but my heart is reeked with jealousy?

Why don't I care Lord about how You feel when I continue to proclaim I'm a Christian and not speak up when I should?
Will You deny me and not speak up for me Lord like I do You?

Why don't I care Lord about how You feel when I enable my family members and call it love? Love does not enable.

Why don't I care Lord about how You feel when I create co-dependency for my own adult children and call it love? Love does not operate in the same space as co-dependency.

Why don't I care Lord about how You feel when I continue to live a life without godly boundaries? So, I'm not a good steward of my life and my time so I don't achieve what You've directed and ordained.

Why don't I care Lord about how You feel when I continue to take anxiety and nerve medications that abuse my body instead of being responsible to deal with my life issues now?

Why don't I care Lord about how You feel when I shine the light of my spouse's imperfections when my spouse is a direct reflection of me?

Why don't I care Lord about how You feel when I continue to masturbate?

Why don't I care Lord about how You feel when I continue to steal from my job, my family and steal from You in ways that I try to justify?

Why don't I care Lord about how You feel when I rarely keep my word with any person? You have always honored words Lord and I am to be an ever-becoming spotless representation of You.

LORD, WHY DON’T I CARE HOW YOU FEEL … WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

Holy Spirit, I give you permission to do heart surgery on my heart?

Why Lord, do I choose to give you this permission?

Because what saddens You, I want to sadden me since I'm choosing to work on being more like You as one of Your devoted followers.

Why Lord, do I choose to give you this permission to do heart surgery on my heart?

Because what please You Lord, I want to please me.

Change my heart, soften it where it needs softening.

Remove from it the ills and worldly vices that I've become to familiar with.

Create in me a clean heart, O Lord, I choose You and make my heart most sensitive to Your ways, Your principles in my life.

In the name of Jesus, I pray, I expect and I thank you.

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